Gather round, boys & girls, it's time for another story!

           Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! H̥͜e͎̗͉̪̬͚͖l̼̮̗͕l̶̜o͚̝͜!̛̱ ̗̹̣̟̤̙͡

     _{Once upon a time, in a faaaaar away place - filled with flowers, trees, cute little animals and all that shit countrysides tend to have, there lived a young boy. An itty bitty child, living with his mommy, daddy & his big brother.}

                 _{How fucking cute.}

     _{Now one day mommy & daddy Holmes decided to go out get their cherished little boy a pet. I can bet that a majority of you would’ve expected Sir Boasty to have a cat; a solitary creature that cleans itself when it can be bothered, like our well known cheekboned stud muffin.}

        _{Wellidy wellidy well, if you thought that…}

                                    _{DING DONG, YOU’RE WRONG ✖}

     _{Mommy & daddy Holmes wanted to get a pet which little Boasty Woasty could consider a friend, because let’s face it… Even as a young boy Sherlock could never gain friends. So when big bro Mikey played battleship with his best buds, Sherly stayed inside with another type of mate.}

          _{Man’s best friend.}

     _{Little Boasty and his dog turned out to be the bestest of fwends! Every day the mutt would wait for him to come back from school, and oooooh boy did they have some good times together too!}

• _{playing hide n go seek}
• _{eating mikeys homework}
• _{shitting in mikeys shoes}
• _{playing pirate (hence why the name; Redbeard)}

     _{Though, unfortunately, everything comes to an end, and on one sad, rainy day when ikkle Sherly came back from school he couldn’t see his doggy woggy waiting for him. He first assumed that due to the rainy weather he had stayed inside, but ooooh noooo! It turned out mommy & daddy Holmes had went to take Redbeard to be put down because he did a very naughty thing and bit the postman! Tut tut tut!}

     _{Little Boasty weren’t too happy about that, no sir! He cried buckets and buckets, & even tried wishing for his canine companion to not be dead! Oooh the irony!}

     _{But the moral to this story anyway is never get too attached to something, everything comes to an end sooner or later. Or in this case - every dog has it’s day to die.}

                            The end...?